“It’s needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15”

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Today on Facebook someone posted the link to this article.  As I read it, I kept saying to myself, “I know!  That’s so true!  Exactly!”  It’s actually a column rather than an article.  Someone wrote in to Carolyn asking why parents with kids don’t have any time.  They couldn’t understand what the big deal was and just figured their friends with kids were using the kid as an excuse to relax.  Carolyn goes on to describe the daily life of a parent.  One paragraph in particular stood out to me.

“It’s constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise.  It’s resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone’s long term expense.”

I mean, hello!  That is everything wrapped into a nice, neat bow!  Not to mention as a mother you second guess every decision you make for your little one, right down to the pj’s he’s wearing to bed that night.  Everyone always seems to have an opinion about the choices you make or wishes to give you their insight.  Don’t get me wrong, I love helpful tips from other mothers and enjoy swapping stories and experiences too.  I think that is really healthy and helpful!  However, I have experienced some mothers, whose advice I didn’t take, and have them point out to me that I didn’t listen.  Not that the decision I made was the wrong one for our family but that they noticed I didn’t take their advice.  Those are the one’s that repeat their advice over and over again because I’m assuming they didn’t think I heard them.  I did, I’m just doing things a bit different.

I could have never understood all that goes into being a parent before now.  I even remember Ryan saying to me, “I don’t understand what the big deal is.  Everyone says it’s so hard but I just don’t see it.”  That statement was made before Sam arrived… no way would he utter those words now.  We get it.  Oh, we get it.  It is all consuming.

It’s also the greatest, most rewarding experience and job I’ve ever known.  Sam the man is awesome.  He has brought us more joy, excitement, happiness, and love then we could have ever anticipated.  I already have the baby bug tapping me on the shoulder again.  Realistically though, it’s not going to happen for quite a while.

One aspect I’m learning to adjust to is not being great at everything.  That sounds kind of braggy but I mean it in the sense that I’m dropping the ball on things I previously was a master at and can’t find time for certain tasks.  I was pretty good at juggling the career woman and wife hat.  But now that I’ve added mother to my list of responsibilities, I haven’t been able to find that sweet balance.  When I get home from work all I want to do is be with Sam.  When Sam goes to sleep, all I want to do is sit and go to sleep very soon.  I did make an appointment with my physician last week to discuss my lack of energy.  To me it’s more than just having a newborn, I can barely keep my eyes open at 3pm and have to have a cup of coffee to make it the rest of the afternoon.  I’m thinking my iron is out of whack.  I think once we can figure out why I’m so depleted of energy that finding that sweet balance will shortly follow.

But seriously, who wouldn’t want to spend all day and night just playing with this beautiful baby.Image

3 thoughts on ““It’s needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15”

  1. Wow that article certainly says it right! Better than I could have ever explained it. Even my husband sometimes comes home and asks me what I did all day, and when I list it, it seems like nothing, yet in reality its a lot. Thanks for posting this!

    • I think sometimes it’s necessary to leave our husbands with our little bundles for the day, just so they can understand what a day is truly like. You never shut your brain off. You’re always trying to stay one step ahead of everyone else’s needs. My mom was a stay at home mom and my dad made the mistake of coming home one night, while she was home all day with 3 little girls, and asked, “The house is a wreck, what did you do all day?” My mom remained calm and later that night told him she was invited to join her sisters for a little road trip this Saturday and Sunday to the outlet malls. There was no trip, my mom went and spent the night at my Grandma’s house and left my dad with us 3 little girls. Brilliant dose of reality for my dad! He never uttered those words ever again.

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